Miles Away
by freedomfighter4
Summary: Can you miss something you never had? Tails POV


Miles Away 

A short tale from Tails POV. Rated G Can you miss something you never had?  
I don't own the characters within this story. Wish I did . . . but oh well. They belong to Dic, Sega, and Archie . . .suppose that's all. Enjoy and please comment, unless it's just Anti-Sally nonsense. In that case, keep it to yourself. 

You can't miss something you never had. I heard someone say that, I dunno who. I was little then. I'm pretty grown up now. I don't understand really. Though I don't remember who said it, I remember that they said it about me. That I can't miss something I never had. I've never had ice cream. I never saw a movie. I never went into a store. Maybe they meant things like that. If that's what they meant then I guess it's true. I know ice cream's cold like snow. Aunt Sally told me that when she was little they used to make a thing sort of like ice cream from the snow. She called it snow cream. She tells me that the snow is to dirty to make snow cream now. That it might make us sick if we ate it. Even though I'd like to try ice cream or even snow cream, I can't miss it. I don't know if I'd even like it. It's that way with a lot of things. I don't ever hardly think of those things because they aren't even real. Maybe they used to be. But not anymore. Sometimes Sonic would tell me about things. He missed them. He didn't really say that, but I could tell. It's the way he sounded, sorta sad. He told me about television and trains and the city lights at night. He told me about radios, radios that played music all the time and the playground he and Aunt Sally used to go too. He told me about the Mobian Summer Festival and the huge farris wheel that he had ridden again and again. I liked to hear him talk, but I didn't understand. It all sounds like stuff out of some way out story to me. I know it's gotta be true, that those things were real. It's just hard to believe. It's hard to believe food used to come in pretty boxes or that there were schools with a hundred kids in it at one time. Sonic told me once that it was okay to feel bad that those things were gone. I felt bad because I didn't really care. I don't like the idea of big schools or busy streets or food coloring. I like having my lessons in the mess hall with Aunt Sally. I like knowing the name of everyone in Knothole. I like that they all know my name and that they all care about me. We're a big family, Aunt Sally says. I like that. I don't like the idea of thousands of strangers living next door. 

I used to miss my Mom. Or I guess I missed the idea of my Mom. I don't know her. But I missed the idea of having a Mom. I don't know why. What's a mom anyway? Maybe I don't really know, since I don't have one, but I think a mom is the lady that gives you kisses and tucks you in at night. Mom's make you take medicine when you're sick and clean off your scrapes. They probably tell you to be good and to eat your vegetables too. If that's all a mom is I don't see the big deal. A mom and Aunt Sally are pretty much the same thing. I remember once, when I was young and kinda dumb asking her if she was my mother. I felt bad for asking because tears pooled up in her eyes.  
"Oh Honey, I'm too young to be your real mother. But I love you very much Tails." I didn't like making her look so sad, but I was young and so full of questions. I told her that was alright, wanting to make those tears go away, wanting to cheer her up. I told her I could pretend she was my mother. That made her cry. Made the tears in her eyes flow down her cheeks and she nodded, sitting a hand on my head. Maybe that was the wrong thing to say. 

I think that probably, if you go without something for long enough you stop missing it. Sonic hardly ever talks about the things he used too. The before Robotnik things. He talks about things I know, things I understand. I mostly understand anyway. He talks about Aunt Sally a lot. He asks me if she talks about him. He asks where I found the pretty lilys I pick to put in the vases that sit on the mess hall tables. Things like that. I asked him once, not long ago about the things from before. I asked him why he didn't talk about them anymore.   
"Ya can't live in the past Bud. That's way past uncool and not good for ya neither. I like ta think about the here and now." I like that too. Aunt Sally still talks about the past, but not in the same way Sonic used too. She teaches me stuff she says I'll need to know when the war ends. She shows me little slips of paper, called money. You buy stuff with money. It's just paper, it's stupid really. I like trading for stuff like we do. What can you do with a slip of paper other than start a fire? She shows me pieces of plastic that are money too. Borrowed money. You can't even use the little card for kindling, so I don't see the point. I don't want to learn that sort of thing. I want to learn to kick 'Buttnik butt and hack into computers. I want to learn to mend the thatch roofs of the huts and how to scale fish. I want to learn the things I'll actually use. The things I need to know. Aunt Sally tells me one day, after the war's over, I won't need to know those things. That it will be useless information. She says I'll need to know about money and balancing my checkbook. She says I'll need to know economics and the electoral process. I tell her I doubt Sonic could balance a checkbook. She shrugged, not saying I was right, but not arguing that I was wrong either. I wonder about that. What it would be like for all of us if the war ended. I try to picture Sonic sitting at a desk with a real job. I don't think he could do that. I try to picture him walking on a street full of people. He'd have to walk, there wouldn't be any room to run. He'd have to walk everywhere, or drive. Maybe he'd ride the train. 

I worry sometimes. I wonder what will happen to me when the war ends. I wonder if my parents are alive. I wonder if they'd even want me if they were. I mean, I was a tiny baby that last time they saw me. I'm not as cute anymore and I get in trouble sometimes. Even if they did want me . . . would I want them? I don't know them. They could be mean. They might be bad. Aunt Sally tells me not to worry when I talk to her about it. She says I'll always have a place with her. That she'd take care of me, just like she always had. Sonic says I could live with him too. That we'd have so much fun and hang out all the time. But things are changing. Sonic and Aunt Sally are changing. They hang out a lot. I guess they've always hung out a lot, but it's different now. They hold hands. They kiss sometimes. I saw them once when I was out after my bedtime. Sometimes I can't sleep. I walked down to the grotto to talk to Sonic. But Aunt Sally was already there, sitting on the log with him and they were kissing. Kissing with their mouths opened and their arms wrapped tight around each other. It was gross and I ran back to my hut. I didn't want to see them make babies. I started to wonder about that, then I started to worry. What if Aunt Sally had a baby? A baby that was really hers. Would she still want me around? Would she still love me? 

"Sonic, are you gonna put a baby in Aunt Sally?" I asked Sonic one day not too long after that. We were in the mess hall, having a snack. He had just taken a big drink from his cup when I asked and he started coughing and all like his water had gone down the wrong way.  
"What . . .what kinda question is that?" He managed to say after a minute.  
"I just . . . wondered."  
"No." He said, but he didn't sound sure. He coughed again, shaking his head. "Sal . . . she didn't say anythin' about havin' a baby did she?"  
"No."  
"Okay . . . you sure?"  
"Yeah." I looked down at my sandwich and poked it with my finger. "I just . . . don't think you outta have any babies." I added, trying to sound like I didn't really care, that I was just saying.  
"What, like never?"  
"They are a lot of work." I say, thinking that would make his mind up for sure.  
"Well Tails . . . never is a mondo long time. I think Sal's gonna wanna have a baby or two sometime."  
"Or two?" The idea of one was bad enough.  
"Yeah, two or so."   
"Or so!" That means more than two. More than two! "You, you don't want to have babies do you Sonic?"  
"Well . . ."  
"Don't you have control over the whole baby thing? So if you don't wanna have any can't you make it so you won't? That's a guy thing, right?"  
"I think maybe we outta talk about the whole baby makin' thing, you're gettin' older and . . ."  
"I don't care how you make babies." I tell him, upset. "I just wanna know if you're gonna put any in Aunt Sally."  
"Yeah Tails. One day I will." I got up and ran from the table. I ran to my hut and put my pillow over my head. I cried. Even big boys cry sometimes. Even Sonic cries sometimes. There's a knock on my door, but I don't answer. I don't say come in or go away. I don't say anything. A minute later the door opens and Aunt Sally walks in. I don't see her, my head's still covered. I can smell her though. Smell the shampoo she makes for herself. I can smell the leather of her boots. I smell her, the scent that is Aunt Sally. She sits on the edge of my bed. Just sits, not saying anything. I pull the pillow from my face and look up at her. I make an angry face . . .or try too. I probably just looks sad. She touches my face, wiping at the tears on my cheeks.  
"Honey, what's wrong?" She asks softly, stroking my forehead.  
"I don't want you to have babies!"  
"Who said I was having a baby?"  
"No one, but you will! One day you'll have all kinds of babies and you'll forget about me!"  
"Tails, I could never forget about you. Baby or no baby. I promise you."  
"You will! I want you to promise you won't have any babies!"  
"I can't promise that." She sighed. "I will want to have babies. Not to replace you. Not to love more than you. But I will want to have them. I want a big family . . . I want to add to the family I already have."  
"You already have a big family. You told me all of us . . . everyone in Knothole is family."  
"Yes. That true. They're our extended family. But my immediate family isn't large at all."  
"What's the difference?"  
"Extended family is cousins and aunts and uncles and grown brothers and sisters, things like that. Immediate family is husband and wife and their children."  
"You don't have a husband or any kids." I reply, turning away from her, looking at the wall.  
"That isn't true . . .Sonic and I aren't married, but we're mates. We love each other and are devoted. It's the best we can do legally right now. And it's the same in my eyes. In my heart."  
"So it's just you and Sonic and no one . . ." I start hotly.  
"No Tails. It's not just Sonic and myself. There's someone else in our family."  
"Who?"  
"You Honey."  
"No, I'm just extended family."  
"Tails . . . do you remember asking if I was your real mom?"  
"Yeah. And you're not, so . . . "  
"I'm not your biological mother, no. I didn't carry you in my womb . . . didn't give birth to you. But that doesn't mean I don't love you . . . love you like you were my own. You are my own Tails. My very own baby. My first baby. And that's very special. You are very special."  
"Really?" I ask, turning to look at her again.  
"Yes, really."  
"If . . . if you had a baby, would I be their big brother?"  
"Yep. You'll be a great big brother too."  
"Will I get to teach them things? Like how to climb trees and swim and make reed whistles?"  
"Sure."  
"And how to play dirt hockey and fish and play tag and . . ."  
"All those things Honey."  
"Aunt Sally?"  
"Hummm?"  
"When are ya gonna have this baby?"  
"I don't know Tails. Maybe in a couple years."  
"Years! Why not now?" I smile and Aunt Sally blushes a little. I can't wait.


End file.
